China makes me sick...literally...

Maybe it's the pollution. Maybe it's the lack of heat and hot water. Maybe it's the 50+ people put into a small room. I don't know, but China makes me sick. This is the 3rd time i've been really sick since being here. Food poisioning twice and now a horrible cold. I've been unable to breathe normally since Tuesday and I see no signs of it letting up anytime soon. Luckily, my students have exams Monday - Wednesday so I don't have to teach. I'll teach Thursday and Friday and then head off on my vacation (hopefully, feeling better). I'll be leaving on Jan 24th to Bangkok where i'll stay for 2 days before going into Cambodia to see the famed Angwor Wat. Then, i'll swing back through Bangkok and on to Phuket and other beachy spots along the Thai coast! What kind of sickness do we think i'll pick up there??? Probably something extremely rare knowing my luck.
Until next time,
K

Oh yeah...

I don't like the way no one comments on my blog. It makes me feel sad and unloved.

One. Two. Three. Floor.

I unfortunately do not have photographical evidence of my adventure last night. Joan and I decided to buy Tang (AKA TOM) a bottle of Tequila and teach him and Wen (AKA JACK) and the other guys at the restaurant how to do Tequila shots (with lemons; no limes in China). During my teaching training we were exposed to the "I do, we you, you do" method. So, I did. We did. And they did. Then I did. Then I did again. And again. And again. By the end of the night we finished the entire bottle of tequila and about 6 or 7 large beers. Only Tom liked the Tequila. Actually, i'm pretty sure one of the guys threw up after he tried it. I don't remember many of our conversations, but Jack and I definitely brought our "relationship" out in public. We left around 1 am and as I tried to get onto Jack's motorcycle, i fell completely backwards and hit the ground. Hard. So, now i'm probably known as the drunk, mentally challanged lao wei who literally cannot communicate with her boyfriend to most of Youxian. Yay me.

Shen me?

Thus far I’ve done a pretty decent job of keeping up with my blog. Your welcome. I know your life is much improved from reading the rantings of an overambitious, somewhat sexually frustrated American girl in China. Like everything in China, New Year’s Eve was a night of unusual and WTF moments. (For those who don’t speak teen WTF = What. The. Fuck. (Excuse the language fam.) The night began with a simple and relaxing hair wash, head massage and trim. Hair dressers in China however do not know what a trim is. Either that or they just really f*cking hate me. Basically, I’m wearing a hair helmet. It’s super short on the top (4 or 5 inches long) and it gets longer and longer. Yes, I realize it sounds like a simple hair layering style. In America when you get your hair layered, the hair gets thicker as it gets longer – most of the hair is long, with small shorter layers. This is the opposite. The majority of my hair is short and then a small hand full is long. I have a Chinese mullet. ‘Nuff said.

After the anger subsided Joan and I got dolled up and headed to Tang’s restaurant. If you’ve read my previous entries you’ll remember Tang is our friend and the owner of the restaurant at which Wen Yong Ping (my…boyfri….my friend who is a boy) works. We met Wen, Tang and our friend Emma there for what turned into a huge New Year’s Eve dinner. Tang’s restaurant is amazing. Because Joan and I don’t read characters we always order the same thing: eggplant, beef, noodles, and rice. Tang decided to surprise us with some new dishes, one of which was fish head – apparently eating it on NYE is good luck in China. After dinner and many beers and shots of Vodka we headed to KTV where we were meeting Derek and Heather, our other WT buddies.

[SIDE NOTE]Derek and Heather are currently beside me reading. Derek just informed me that he reads my blog from time to time so I’d like to take a moment to get him and heather a quick shout out. They took a bus, a train, and 2 taxis to get to Youxian from his town last night. They traveled from 12 pm until 9:30 just to spend NYE with us in Youxian. J Thanks guys!!!! [END SIDE NOTE]

So, as we were walking to KTV we stopped at an extremely expensive bakery. I was standing outside when Wen Yong Ping walked out with a small box of chocolate for me. I was giddy to say the least. When we got to KTV – “mei you” rooms. Apparently all of Youxian decided to go to KTV for New Year’s. At the 3rd KTV, we went to the “waiting area” which was actually reminiscent of an American karaoke bar – one huge stage, a bar and a ton of drunken idiots. Joan and I were the first to walk in. Time we opened the doors a literal swarm of men surrounded us telling us to “SING SING SING” and pushing to towards the stage. Guess we were the entertainment for the evening. They were also shoving glasses of beer in our face (which I was not complaining about.) So, in front of about 30 or 50 Chinese people and 2 other Americans Joan and I sang “Yue Liang Da Baio Wo de Xin” (“The Moon Represents My Heart”) China’s equivalent to “My Heart Will Go On.” I must toot my own horn here and say, we rocked it! I should totally get paid for my singing skills.

Eventually we got our private room and enjoyed the night singing to Backstreet Boys, Michael Jackson and various other annoying pop singers. Wen and I are both very very shy (who knew, right?) so it was hard to get us next to each other. Towards the end of the night Tang took the initiative to grab my hand and put it into Wen’s hand. J Total high moment… Naturally, everyone in the room was staring at us (including my student’s mother.) We gave up our singing careers at 2 am and headed home. Wen and I said good night at his restaurant and we parted ways. Joan, Derek, Heather and I began the 30 minute trek to my apartment. Half way to my apartment Wen pulled up on his motorcycle and offered me a ride. Again, I’d like to reiterate the fact that he doesn’t speak English and I do not speak Chinese (especially when I’ve been drinking.) After we got to my school we walked in awkward but pleasant silence to my apartment. After about 10 minutes of practicing Chinese and English the rest of my wei guo ren friends showed up. It was now 3 am so Wen said he had to go. I walked him to the gate of my school and…..wait for it….wait for it…..wait for it…..yep…we had our first kiss. I kissed a Chinese boy and liked it.

Paradise Lost

I’d like to preface this entry with a simple fact: I have some how angered the travel gods.

For Christmas a few friends and I decided to leave the mainland and head for a sunnier destination. In comes Sanya, Hainan, a small island off the coast of China. Joan and I left Youxian on Wednesday evening after class. In comes obstacle #1. Finding a bus. You see, getting into Youxian is as easy as finding a Starbucks in New York. Getting out of Youxian, however is a much different story. If you leave early in the day you can go to the bus station and buy a ticket. If you leave late (like we usually do), you must stand on the side of the road leaving Youxian and wait for a bus going to the town you want to go to. This is somewhat difficult because you have to match up the characters in time to flag the bus down. After 1 hour of waiting….we found the bus to Zhuzhou.

Travel gods: 0 Karli: 1

The trip to Zhuzhou was flawless for the most part - a couple of snags but all and all a success. On Thursday morning we headed to the airport. After we checked in we waited for our friends, Derek and Heather. Our flight was leaving in 1.5 hours at 11:50. Sanya here we come!!!!! Oh, wait…I forgot about the searing hatred the travel gods have for me. 11:50….12:50….12:55….1:00….2:00…nap… chocolate…2:30….3:30…3:35…fog…fog…fog…3:40…4:00….4:15…more fog…rice, cabbage and chicken balls provided by the airline….nap…fog…5:00….fog…fog…5:30…6:00…6:30…oh NEWS!!! THANK GOD! “um, sorry no flights today because of fog. Please get on this bus and we will take you to a hotel for the night…maybe you will fly out tomorrow…”

Travel gods: 1 Karli: 1

So, we were bused to a hotel, fed and put up for the night. 3:30 am: Wake up call. A woman who doesn’t speak English telling us the plane is leaving so we need to get back on the bus. Thank god Joan knows “when” and “plane” in Chinese. So, off we went! Everything went smoothly…we got on the plane and made it to beautiful Sanya! Sanya is known as China’s Hawaii. The weather was perfect and the scenery was absolutely breathtaking. After got to the hotel we headed straight to the beach. Sanya is huge tourist destination, specifically for Russians. Thus, we figure we wouldn’t be a hot commodity here. Boy ,were we wrong. Every 5 minutes someone would A) ask us if they would take a picture or B) pose for a picture with us in the background. You know when you go to the zoo and you take a picture in front of an exotic animal – like an elephant or giraffe? Yeah…we were the animals in the background. Friday was great – we swam, played volleyball (very badly), relaxed and enjoyed the beachy atmosphere. Only one really strange thing happened. That night we went to a bar and Joan and I ordered eggnog with rum. So exciting since it was Christmas Eve. We cheers-ed and took a big sip. Definitely NOT eggnog. It was egg, a bit of mil and rum. Extremely bad..Then Joan and I spent 20 minutes trying to explain in Chinese that it wasn’t what we thought it was and we wanted new drinks.

Saturday was a great day. Simple. Beach. Beer. Full body massage on the beach. Volleyball. Beer. Buried Derek in the sand and made him a mermaid with huge boobs. Then of course, I hurt myself. Someone I stepped on the one sharp rock in the water and cut my foot. For the rest of the trip and still today, I cannot walk very well. I’m basically a gimp.

Travel gods: 2 Karli: 1

Saturday night: drinks, Russian meat pie, 2 hours of Asshole and rock, paper scissor with the locals.
Sunday: Sunday morning we went kayaking and snorkeling. I’ve never done either so I was pretty excited. For your information – kayaks don’t have motors. You have to paddle. When we finished, I was so sore I literally couldn’t walk straight and because of my foot I was limping.

Travel gods : 3 Karli: 1

After that we wanted to relax. Back to the beach for another massage and a nap! So enjoyable..until…oh what, Karli is sick. Wtf! I guess I ate something not so good because at around 4 o’clcok I got really sick. No details needed - let’s just say:

Travel gods: 100 Karli: 1

And thus the trip ended…the travel gods kicked my ass (again).
Now, I get to look forward to my 5 week vacation in February…I wonder what will happen then? We could probably start a betting pool. Break a leg? Swine Flu? Trampled by elephants? Eaten by monkeys?? Robbed by a girlie boy in Thailand? Who knows…

Christmas Videos

So, for Christmas I had my students learn a few Christmas carols. The videos are absolutely adorable. Please watch them:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ff-1dB6NICs Silent night

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOGVZn1XUlc SC Coming to Town

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDiXOjyi5_4 Deck the Halls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYRsC6LAmG8 Deck the Halls

There are no words to describe what is written below. Just read it.

Once again, my laziness has taken me away from nurturing An Untamed Life. Sorry. But, here I am again and since I’ve been away for quite a while I have a few things to discuss, which in this case, means write down for my own selfish needs and the entertainment of the 9 people who read my blog.

First, I’ll brush over a few highlights (some good, some bad) of the past couple of months and then I’ll go into a bit more detail.

1. Missing my flight to Hong Kong and paying for a new ticket
2. Going to Hong Kong for the 2nd time
3. Visiting with my friend, Kyle in Hong Kong
4. Losing Jon in Hong Kong
5. 5 am wake up call by Brendon…looking for Jon
6. Finding a Nine West in Hong Kong
7. Maxing out my credit card (damn you Nine West)
8. Asking an old Chinese woman for sex. (obviously on accident)
9. Finding out I have 3 student loans due next month (right, like I have the money…)
10. Eating dog (without knowledge)
11. Eating pig stomach (with knowledge)
12. A short conversation with a 14 year old girl: “Ying wants you to be his girlfriend. Yes?” ME: “I don’t speak Chinese and he doesn’t speak English.” HER: “But, he loves you.”
13. Getting a back massage by said Chinese man while being told about his feelings towards me.
14. Finding brie, cheddar, pepper jack and gouda cheese
15. Buying all 3 seasons of the Tutors
16. Watching all 3 seasons of the Tutors
17. Learning how to say far in Chinese
18. Teaching about Christmas and “the Christmas man”
19. Listening to my students sing Christmas carols
20. Going to my friend Tang’s restaurant
21. Learning the Happy Birthday song in Chinese (Sheng re kuai le) and singing it to Danny
22. THE BEST AND MOST IMPORTANT HIGHLIGHT: Meeting Wen. If you’ve seen Love Actually and remember Colin Firth’s story with the Portuguese girl…yeah, that’s basically Wen and me. And no, he doesn’t speak English. And yes, I use my students as translators. (See below for further information)

Interesting list, huh?!?!

I’ve haven’t written in a while because nothing too interesting has happened. I went to Hong Kong for Thanksgiving to meet my friend Kyle. It was amazing. Unfortunately, Kyle lives in Kuwait so drinking was at the top of his list. On the bright side, Hong Kong was decked out for Christmas and I bought a nice assortment of books. Two friends from WorldTeach were also in Hong Kong so we met up with them and as the above highlights tell, we lost Jon at one point and Brendon woke me up at 5 am looking for him (and telling me quite excitedly about a 50 year old woman he was making out with.)

Upon arriving in China we were told that culture shock usually sets in about 3 or 4 months after arrival. I am very lucky to say I didn’t/haven’t experienced it as bad as some people. After Hong Kong I was a bit homesick but it only lasted a few days. Now, I’m back to my giddy self! I leave tomorrow for Sanya. Google it. It’s basically China’s Hawaii. Apparently there is a Monkey island and sometimes you actually have to peel monkeys off of your legs. That should be interesting. I’ll be spending Christmas at the beach…probably drunk…

Ok…So, here’s the story you’ve been dying to hear (I hope you aren’t literally dying though. That would be very very sad.) So, Wen Yong Ping. Where to start?? Joan and I went into a restaurant a couple of months ago and enjoyed a nice dinner. We met the boss, Tang, who speaks a little English. He is very very nice and we love the restaurant so we go there often. I noticed the first time we went in that the cooks are all young and very attractive. Well, then I saw in my opinion the most beautiful man in China. I never had the courage to talk to him so he and I was make eyes with each other. I’m sure you know what I mean when I say “make eyes.” I smile and give him my flirty face and he smiles back..blah blah blah.

So, we went in the restaurant last Friday and Tang came to sit with us. Joan and I told him we though the cooks were very cute and joan informed him that I liked one of the guys. Then, I told my friend Emma about him. She’s a student at another school and she was dying to see what he looked like. So, Sunday night we went into the restaurant after her classes. It was about 10 pm and because I was a bit nervous I got a little tipsy before we went. She started talking to one of the girls who works there and told her that I like the guy and I wanted to know how old he was. This simple question turned into the entire restaurant finding out that I was interested in the guy. When he walked over to our table this random man made us stand together because he was worried that I was taller. I am taller than most of the people here, but luckily Wen and I are about the same height. After a while he came and sat at the table with Tang and us. Emma had to translate almost everything we said to each other, but luckily I’ve learned how to flirt in Chinese. I can’t order a proper dinner in Chinese, but I can definitely flirt. Ni shuai dia le means something along the lines of you are so handsome, I’m dumbfounded. Yes….I said this to him. He responded (with Emma’s help) “you are beautiful.” And thus the evening continued.

Communication is difficult but we make it work. He texts me in broken English sometimes and I’ve learned how to type characters on my phone. Our conversations are obviously basic and usually consist of, “Hello. How are You?” “i’m fine thank you. And you? “ “I’m fine too.” This communication barrier may be a blessing in disguise. I'm now determined more than ever to learn Chinese and thus plan on spending at least 2 - 3 hours a day on Rosetta Stone. Wen is also determined to learn English. I’m leaving town for vacation, but when I come back we are supposed to go to KTV together. I’ll keep you posted as the relationship blossoms (or dies).

Until the next time....